Mark Driscoll the Vicarious Rapist (Untimely Meditations or Unfashionable Observations)

Is Mark Driscoll a misogynist?

Is Mark Driscoll a misogynist?

By Lee Karl Palo

© 2013 Lee Karl Palo

Seattle pastor Mark Driscoll has crossed a line that I cannot tolerate. If a woman says “no” to any kind of sex-act, and that act is coerced nonetheless, it sounds like a good definition of rape to me. Driscoll related the story of a woman who had always refused to perform oral sex on her husband. Driscoll’s advice?

“You need to go home and tell your husband that you’ve met Jesus and you’ve been studying the Bible, and that you’re convicted of a terrible sin in your life. And then you need to drop his trousers, and you need to serve your husband. And when he asks why, say, ‘Because I’m a repentant woman. God has changed my heart and I’m supposed to be a biblical wife.’”

So in giving the woman advice, Driscoll uses her faith in Jesus to force her to perform a sex act that she had always refused to do in the past. That sounds like rape to me. I hope the people attending Mars Hill Church in Seattle will find this kind of spiritual abuse intolerable as well.

To see the quote in context go here.


Untimely Meditations or Unfashionable Observations are meant to provoke thought. They are not necessarily meant to convey the author’s actual opinion, and may be hypothetical in nature. The style is inspired by a certain oft-misunderstood European philosopher of the late 19th Century (he would have preferred to be called a European philosopher rather than a German philosopher) – “Dionysus.”


© 2013 Lee Karl Palo

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3 Responses to Mark Driscoll the Vicarious Rapist (Untimely Meditations or Unfashionable Observations)

  1. Pingback: L for Longings | mutteringheart

  2. nina says:

    I just read your post. I’ve been researching Driscoll and his sermons. I’ve looked at both primary sources (transcripts of his sermons) and stories told by those who have left his fold.

    I see a man who has well-documented control issues, firing staff for even the hint of lacking total subservience. He is obsessed with dominance and power. I see a man who focuses on victims of sexual abuse to an extent I’ve never before seen in any church, almost forcing them to undergo “therapy” in the context of his own church where confidentiality and competence is not assured. I see a man who looked at the story of Esther, a young woman who turned her rape by a king into an opportunity to demonstrate great strength, and extrapolated that Esther was a whore (despite being a virgin) who seduced a highly experienced man. I see a man who is married to a victim of sexual abuse. This same man said that a wife should never turn down her husband’s requests for sex or any sexual act.

    I don’t think Driscoll is just a vicarious rapist. I think, if he hasn’t raped a woman yet, he will.

    I’m biased. I’m a victim of sexual abuse, so I may be more prone to see it where it does not exist. I can tell you that, because of my trauma, there are times I am not emotionally capable of enjoying sex, and my sweet, gentle husband goes so far out of his way to avoid even the suggestion that he is pressuring me. The fact that Driscoll would use Scripture to manipulate a victim of sexual trauma into feeling obligated to have sex and engage in any sex act with him is deeply, deeply disturbing.

  3. Pingback: What Have We Learned? – The End of the Mars Hill Church Empire | After.Church

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